Category Archives: Love Increasinly

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Slightly over a year ago, a good friend emailed me his thoughts on a passage from the Bible and today I hope his comment speaks to married couples everywhere.

We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing.  2 Thessalonians 1:3

Imagine for a moment seeing people in your life, neighborhood, and community, living in such a way that love was more and more visible.  Wouldn’t that elicit a word of thanks from your lips?  Well that’s what the author of the passage saw among a group of Christians living in Thessalonica, Greece.  And it’s what my friend commented on.
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He pointed out Christians often pray for more faith or wisdom, but may not be as diligent when it came to increasing our love for others.  His conclusion, which I agree with, “can you think of anything more exciting to say about your church [marriage, family, friends] than “The love every one of you has for each other is increasing!”  It sounds like a worthy goal and one not to take lightly

We are preparing to launch ‘Love Increasingly’, a way to evaluate your love for others and implement a process to improve, if an area seems less than satisfactory to you.  Imagine a marriage where both parties were seeking to increase in their love for each other.  Perhaps you’d see a man and woman learning how to be more patient and less critical with each other or being less absorbed in themselves and more engrossed in the welfare of their mate.

If you know of any relationships that aren’t perfect, perhaps they could benefit from ‘Love Increasingly.’  Why not share this post with them and encourage them to sign up for email updates from our blog…after you’ve signed up for them yourself of course.

These Numbers Didn’t Lie

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Ellen and I were reminiscing recently about one of our favorite stories (one of those ‘I’m such a good husband’ tales) so we decided to share it with you.  It’s basically a statistical analysis of how I rated as a supportive help-mate for my wife.

Sharing the Load (Bloomsations and More)

Years ago, something happened (or didn’t happen) prompting Ellen to voice the opinion that I wasn’t  pulling my own weight around the house.  Knowing deep within how completely incorrect she was, I was deeply hurt and fired up to prove her wrong.  My fourth grade teacher said I had a future in math so I decided to make this a numbers thing.

Grabbing a sheet of paper, I started listing household tasks in one column and then created two adjacent columns to record the percentage of each chore Ellen and I performed.  How sweet this was going to be when, upon completing the list, I would see the 50/50 split in nearly every category, except for those where the percentage was heavily weighted on my side.

The first job, taking out the trash, went 30% Ellen, 70% Scott, and I was feeling vindicated and proud of it.  Next was cooking meals; Ellen 65% – Scott 35%.  Nothing to worry about…there was a long list below to work through.

  • Making beds: Ellen 85% – Scott 15%
  • Washing dishes: Ellen 70% – Scott 30%
  • Ironing cloths: Ellen 95% – Scott 5% (for putting up the ironing board)
  • Buying gifts for my family: Ellen 80% – Scott 20% (think they know?)
  • Yard work: (I knew this was mine) Ellen 75% – Scott 25% (Ouch!)

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The list kept on going and the numbers, way to often, ended up being 60% and above on Ellen’s side.  You know what’s worse than being proud and arrogant?  Knowing that you’re both without any basis in fact for being that way.  Numerically, I was crucified.

Since that day, my scores have improved.  At least I think they have; I’m not eager to retake the test and probably destroyed all evidence of the list shortly after I asked Ellen to forgive me for not being the type of husband I’d promised when we got married.

So why is such a humiliating story a favorite of ours?  It marked a turning point in my commitment to love, honor, and respect Ellen in a way that demonstrated how important she is in my life.  We keep learning that love isn’t as much about how we feel but rather how we act and that brings us to a More than Married for Life principal.

You Won’t be Perfect – You Can Grow Better!

  • Want to find out if I’ve changed?  Leave a comment and ask Ellen what the scores would be now.
  • Think you could pass the test?  Grab a piece of paper and get started.
  • Need to talk about who’s statistically behind the other in your relationship?  Feel free to get in touch